Plumbing is like poker.
You can’t have a full house and a straight flush.
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love your jokes at the table happy:)
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What’s the easiest way to get Straight A’s?
Use a ruler.
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If you get heartburn every time you eat birthday cake, try taking the candles off.
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Ha! That’s the ONLY way I would have been able to get straight A’s!!!
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A guy was driving around the back woods of montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-house that reads “talking dog for sale”
he rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard.
the guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking labrador retriever sitting there.
you talk he ask
“yep” the lab replies
as he recovers from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he says “so what is your story”
the lab looks up and says, " well I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, so I wanted to help the goverment so I told the cia. in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog will be eavesdropping. i was one of there double spies for 8 years running, but the jetting really tired me out and i knew i was not getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security ,wandering near suspicious characters and listing in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I then got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I am just retired.
the guy is amazed, he goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“ten dollars” the guy says.
“ten dollars”/. this dog is amazing.
why are you selling him so cheap.
“because he is a bullshitter, he has never been out of the back yard.”"
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Ghosts are terrible liars.
You can see right through them.
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Carol one time I put 50 cents in a gum ball machine at Ollie’s which is a cool store anyway, I got this cool ring gave it to my girl told her I bought it at this high dolla jewelry place but it turned green like 3 days later 
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3 posts were merged into an existing topic: The Totally Topic-less Anything Except Complaining Thread
Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?
Because he just couldn’t see himself working there.
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Jeff told his friend, “I was named after my father.”
His friend said, “But his name is John.”
“Yes,” Jeff said. “He was named that years before I was even born.”
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