Why does Orion’s belt only have three stars?
Well, some of the reviews say it’s just a waist of space.
Did you see that guy wearing camouflage?
Me neither.
Two criminals are taking a walk deep in the woods one dark night.
Boy, it sure is creepy out here, says the first outlaw.
How do you think I feel? asks his companion. I have to walk back alone.
They outlawed prostitution near prisons…
Because you shouldn’t end a sentence with a proposition.
My son said he wants to be an outlaw when he grows up
When I asked why, he said “dad you hate in-laws so much I figured I’d be the opposite!”
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs
Where is the only place where today comes before yesterday?
The dictionary
Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
Corn on the cob.
I gave up playing poker at the launderette. I kept having to fold.
Post of the year!
A tourist walks into a bar where a dog is sitting in a chair playing poker.
He asks, “Is that dog there really playing poker?”
The bartender replies, “Yeah, but he’s not too bright. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts wagging his tail.”
@Craig_Anthony Maybe Ryan will like these?
What tastes better than it smells?
Your tongue
How can you drop a raw egg from a height onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
What has three feet but cannot walk?
A yardstick.
How do you spell “cow” in thirteen letters?
SEE O DOUBLE YOU.