LEXOPHILIA: A form of addiction describing those who are obsessively enamored of words, especially those set in a new framework.
A competition to see who can come up with the best “lexphillies” is held every year in an undisclosed location. this year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.
- You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish." (This one’s old.)
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- The batteries were given out free of charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
- Police were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- When she saw her first strands of grey hair, the thought she’d dye.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.