Game Theory Pessimal (GTP) Strategy

There has been lots of talk about Game Theory Optimal strategy for NLHE. Well, some of the play we see here is so over the top horrible that I’m convinced it has to be part of a larger plan. That plan must be to find the Game Theory Pessimal strategy.

Lets have some fun with this and see if we can help flash-out this strategy. Be as serious or as silly as you want to be in putting forth your thoughts on GTP. We don’t want just bad strategies here - we want the absolute worst ones. Give us the best you’ve got on the worst possible plays you can conceive of!


My implementation of GTP poker is based on actual game theory. Specifically, what us serious game theory students would call, “The Monty Hall Problem.”

Now, for those of you with much smaller brains, I should try to explain this Monty Hall thingie…

You get to pick 1 of 3 doors, and then they show you what’s behind one of the doors you didn’t pick. They almost always show you a goat or something, but then they ask you if you want to switch to the other door you didn’t pick. Game theory tells us that we should always switch.

Obviously, this means that whatever we think is always wrong.

When we apply this to pokering, it means we should never play “good” hands and always play bad ones. For example, we all know that AA, KK, QQ will always get cracked, so Monty tells us we should always fold these hands. Also, AK, AQ, AJs and the like never hit the flop, so we should fold these too. We also know that crap hands usually win, so these are the hands we need to play.

So basically, we should carefully think about the correct play, then do the opposite.

Those who refuse to accept this 100% scientific approach will be playing a different kind of GTP poker… Game of Thrones Protagonist poker, and we all know that the good guys on Game of Thrones always get killed by the end of the season.


LOL - I think this is a great start to building the perfect GTP strategy. Let’s make Rule #1 “play the weakest possible range for every position”.


I have to object to your use of terms like “range” and “position,” because these are terms of the male-dominated hierarchy, and not very woke. All cards have value, and the claim that some are better than others is just wrong.

We need to embrace diversity in our hand selection. Hands like 42o sometimes self-identify as strong hands. Just give them a chance and you might find that they are just as capable as any other hand.

To really understand the new way of GTP pokering, one must abandon out-dated concepts such as “logic” and “mathematics” and affirm the power of feelings, which are the only way we can heal the poker community!


SPG would you be so kind as to post this same comment in the parody thread? It’s just hilarious :slight_smile:


Rule #2 ignore the fold button. Folding is for fools. Just keep calling, no matter how high the bet is, no matter what your cards are, no matter how many chips you have, just keep calling… There can be miracles when you believe…


Sorry, I’m just not that kind. After all, I have an image to maintain. However, you can feel free to post it anywhere you want.

1 Like

Observe how the other players at the table are playing. When the table nit shoves make sure to call with 56. The flop is gonna hit for you every time,
Rule 3. Always call when the table nit shoves


GTP seems to me a very valid theory. Play for the most pessimistic expectation. You will have some chance.

Ouch!! That said, you did call with 56s…not exactly GTP as a straight, flush, or straight flush combo was possible pre-flop and you landed the straight on the flop…leaving the rockets with no engines. LOL

@feelmysins was the one who shoved… and the table nit, Z called off with 65s and got there.

GTP and Betting

You should always put the least amount of chips in the pot as possible. Always check if you can, and never bet or raise. This is based on 100% scientifically proven game theory.

The main theory of games is that games are played to have fun. It’s not much fun for you to lose a lot of chips, and it’s not much fun to everyone else if you win a lot. Therefore, the only reasonable approach is to check… a lot.

Betting is bad because if someone has a hand that is self-identifying as better than your’s, you will lose more than you would if you just do the reasonable thing and check. Raising is even worse because you will lose even more chips. That’s not fun, is it?

When you have the best possible hand (called “the nuts”) you need to check too. If you make a mistake and bet or raise, people might fold and you can’t always show them your nuts. You want to show people your nuts whenever you can because people really enjoy looking at them, at least in my experience.

If someone else bets or raises, you should always call. It’s impossible to know what they have, and they probably just clicked the wrong button anyway, so call.

If you lose, people will know you are a victim, and I think they give you a card for that. All of a sudden, you will get lots of friend requests on social media platforms, and real friends like that are much better than silly old chips anyway.

Folding means you accept institutionalized oppression, and you don’t want to look like you are part of that problem, do you? We have to stand up and make our voices heard!

1 Like