Popular lyrics turned into poker songs

Off Topic
22

Had a home game down in Texas
Down where the blue bonnets grew
I had the kindest old mother
How happy we were just we two

Till one day the angels called her
A debt that we all have to pay
She called me close to her bedside
To me these words she did say

Son don’t start RP-ing and gambling
Promise you’ll always go straight
Ten years have passed since we parted
My promise I’ve broke I must say

I started RP-ing for pastime
Soon I was just like them all
I bet my pairs with my play-chips
Not thinking that I’d ever fall

One day I bet all my play-chips
Not a thing was left to be seen
All that I needed to break them
Was one card and that was a queen

The cards were dealt round the table
Each man took one from the draw
I drew the one that would beat them
I turned it and here’s what I saw

I saw my mother’s picture
And to me she seemed to say
Son you have broken your promise
So I tossed the cards away

I gave all my winnings to a newbie
I knew I was wrong from the start
I’ll never forget that promise
To my Mother the queen of my heart

23

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick to delete one post and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?
Say yes to one poker hand and let the other one ride
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes there’s one post with deep thoughts, not as funny
and others down here that are bright and sunny
And just when you think that’s the one needs deleting
Your counterpart deletes it and your left competing

And then you know you better make up your mind
And delete one and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Sometimes you really dig a post the moment you read it
And then you get distracted by another to delete it
You hear through the grapevine which might make you sigh
Saying, “Your post needs deleting, that is no lie”

Then you bet you’d better finally rewrite
And even in the dimming candlelight
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally rewrite?

24

Yeah, yeah, whoa-oh, yeah
What condition my position was in

I woke up with a hand under the gun, and I bet
In my mind I was envisioning a set
Found trips on the turn and bet the eight
I tore my mind on my jagged fate
I just dropped in to see what condition my position was in

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
What condition my discipline was in

I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole, and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin’ out as I was crawlin’ back in, yeah
It felt so right, I couldn’t fold, I saw so much, It broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
What condition my discipline was in

Someone painted “April fool” in big black letters on an ace of spades
I had my foot on the gas as I bet the river, chances fade
a smile out of the villan but I got no fear
He shows a straight called broadway while sipping beer
I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in
I said I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in

Yeah, yeah, whoa-oh, yeah NH

25

Summertime, and the betting is crazy
Fish are jumpin’ and the stacks are high
Oh, your daddy’s rich and his stack is dwindlin’
Hush little baby and listen to him sigh

26

Dealer would deal to the table all night
And the dealer dealt on.
Cards would glide 'cross the felt with the spin that he whirled
And the dealer dealt on.
But his brain was so loaded it nearly exploded
The players would shake with alarm.
He’d ne’er leave the table the whole night long
And the dealer dealt on.

27

Well, seven is a seven, and, eight is a eight
I need a new table, I would appreciate
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, or must I hesitate?

The sign on the table says, ‘Hold’em or Fold’em’
You’re sayin’ you want more time
You wanna see that tell when?
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, I said, must he hesitate?

Well, if on the river was a three, and, you had the ducks
The standings, you’d sink to the bottom, Lord
And never come up
Tell me how long…

Well, rocks in the ocean, said, fish in the sea
Know you bring the chips to me
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, Lord, must I hesitate?

28

I was born in a poker room at Belliagio
My mama played poker every moment you know
Big Papa would play whatever he had
Play a little 10-2
Good thing, those players were really bad

Villains, Sharks, not Durrrrr
We’d hear it from the players at Bellagio
They’d call us Villains, Sharks not Durrrrr
But every night all the players would come around
And lay their money down.

Picked up Doyle just south of Longworth
He said that is the place of his birth
I played AK, Doyle played 10-2
The villain rode with us to Vegas
Big Papa woulda shot him, but just bid him adieu.

29

Well, you can tell by the way I shuffle my chips
I’m a gambling man, a time for trips
Patient play and decent reads
I’ve picked the times when bluffs succeeds

And now it’s all right, that’s okay
You may play another way
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody bluffin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

Well, now I get low and I get high
And when I can’t get either, I really try
The upswings of champions on my resume
I’m a gamblin’ man and it is my day

You know, it’s all right, it’s okay
I’ll live to see another day
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody bustin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

I’m goin’ nowhere, somebody raise me
It doesn’t faze me, yeah
I’m goin’ nowhere
Somebody raise me, yeah
Stayin’ alive

Well, you can tell by the way I shuffle chips
I’m a gambling man, a time for trips
Limits high and table warm
I’ve been sittin’ here since I was born

And now it’s all right, it’s okay
You may play it the another way
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody feltin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

I’m goin’ nowhere, somebody raise me
It doesn’t faze me, yeah
I’m goin’ nowhere
Somebody raise me, yeah
I’m stayin’ alive

30

The dealers nothing special, in fact he’s a bit of a bore
Dealing at a table, you’ve probably seen him before
But he has a talent, a wonderful thing
'Cause I only get the ace and the king
I’m so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m playing
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the AK
For dealing it to me

Mother says I loved poker before I could walk
Mmm, she says I began to cheat long before I could talk
And I’ve often wondered, how did it all start?
I found out that no one else can capture the pot
Like me, with a winning hand can?
Well, whoever went south, I’m not a fan.

So I say
Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m betting
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

I’ve been so lucky, I’m the player with a boat
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a hand, what a chance

Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m playing
Thanks for all the pots I’m winning
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

31

Imagine there’s no poker

It’s easy to start to cry

No pot to bet at

Not one dry eye

Imagine all the people
Searching for a poker game today
Ah, ah, ah-ah

Imagine there’s no dealers
It isn’t hard to do

No one to blame or tip to

And no Negreanu, who?

Imagine all the posters
Living without deletes
Yoo-hoo, ooh-ooh

You may say I’m Excaliburns

But that’s not my real name
I hope someday you’ll join me
At the final table at a WSOP game

Imagine no buy ins

I wonder if you can
No need for checks or chips
Not easy to understand

Imagine all the bored people
Without the poker world
Yoo-hoo, ooh-ooh

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope poker will thrive on
And the RP world will live as one

32

In a little while from now
If I’m not raising any time soon
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby saloon
And toasting to the flop
Betting will not stop
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it’s like when you’re bluffing

Sliver of hope on the turn, at the river
Were players saying, My God, that’s tough
The brick card turned up
No chips of ours remaining
I may as well go on home
And I called 911 on my phone
I fold again, naturally

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, ready to play
Looking forward to rumble and not stumble
in a game I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without an ace, as I try to face
Another ace high flop

Leaving me to doubt
Talk about, poker god in his mercy
Oh, if he really does exist
Why did he desert me
Where’s my ace of spades?
All hope I had fades
I fold again, naturally.

It seems to me that
There are more hearts broken in the poker world
That can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do
What do we do

I fold again, naturally

Looking back over the hands
And whatever cards that lands
I remember it was sick, when the river was a brick
Never wishing to muck the hands
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn’t understand why the only hand
She had ever played had been overtaken
Leaving her to bluff
With a hand so badly beaten
Despite encouragement from me
No chips were ever won
And when she mucked that hand
I cried and cried all day
We lose again, naturally
We lose again, naturally

1 Like
33

There’s something happening here.
What it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with AA’s over there.
Flashing tells I got to beware.

I think it’s time we stop, raisin,watch that turn
Everybody looks without concern

There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody wins if everybody’s wrong
Young people playin’ 7-2’s
Getting no luck or black chips to accrue

I think it’s time we start, raisin’, watch that river
Everybody look and starts to whisper

What a game playin’ into the night
A thousand people on the sight
Singing songs and awareness at its peak
Toasting the player of the week

It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
Step out of line, man comes and takes your post away

We better stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop, now, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop trolling what’s that sound
Everybody look what post is movin’ around.

1 Like
34

Sweet Dreams

Huge wins are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s gambling for something

Some of them want to bluff you
Some of them want to get raised by you
Some of them want to check raise you
Some of them want to be replayed

Huge wins are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s gambling for something

(Hold your head up, keep your head up) move all in
(Hold your head up) move all in, (keep your head up) move all in
(Hold your head up) move all in, (keep your head up) move all in
(Hold your head up) move all in, (keep your head up)

Some of them want to bluff you
Some of them want to get raised by you
Some of them want to check raise you
Some of them want to be replayed

2 Likes
35

Everybody’s bluffing’ at me
I don’t fold a hand I’m playin’
Only if the villains didn’t mind

Floppin’ stoppin’, starin’
I can’t see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes

I’m goin’ where the river keeps hittin’
Through the scary turn
Goin’ where the villains fall like dominoes.

1 Like
36

Desperado
Why don’t you come to your senses?
You’ve been out shoving all ins for so long now
Oh, you’re a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons
These hands that are pleasin’ you
Can hurt you somehow

Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get

Desperado
Oh, you ain’t gettin’ no richer
Your pain and your hunger
They’re drivin’ you home
And poker, oh, poker
Well, that’s just some strangers playin’
Your prison is walkin’ through this world all alone

Don’t your seat get cold at the final table time?
The flop won’t hit and the turn won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the nighttime from the day
You’re losing all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how your chip stack goes away?

Desperado
Why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences
Open the gate
It may be rainin’
But there’s a horseshoe below you
You better let somebody love you
(Let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you
Before it’s too late

1 Like
37

I feel so bad, I’ve got a worried mind
I’m so broke now all the time
Since I left my chip stack behind
Oh what a grind

Saving nickel, saving dime
Workin’ 'til the sun don’t shine
Looking forward to happier times
Oh what a grind

I’m going back someday
Come what may, to poker rooms
Where you bluff all day and the check raise play
in poker rooms

All those fish by me, with their bankrolls there
If I could only win
That familiar green felt through sleepy eyes
How happy I’d be

Go to see the poker room again
And to be with some of my friends
Maybe I’d be happy then
In the poker room

I’m going back some day
Gonna stay in the poker room
Where the folks are fine and the world is mine
In the poker room

Oh, that girl of mine by my side
The silver moon and the evening tide
Oh, some sweet day
Gonna take away this hurting inside

I’ll never be blue, my dreams come true
in poker rooms

2 Likes
38

Sultans of Swing

[Dire Straits]

You get a bettor in the dark, chips splashing by the shark, but meantime
South of the river, you stop and you fold everything
A band is blowing Dixie, double-four time
You feel alright when you hear that music ring

Well, now you step inside, but you don’t see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down

Competition in poker places
Ah, but the horns, they blowing that sound

Way on down south
Way on down south, London town

You check out check-raise George, he knows all the odds
Mind, he’s strictly algorithm, he doesn’t want to make it cry or sing
Yes and a small buy-in is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play this thing

And Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the cash
He’s got a daytime job, he’s doing alright

He plays PKO tourneys like anything
Saving it up for Friday night

With the Sultans
With the Sultans of Odds

And a crowd of young boys, they’re fooling around at the rail

Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They don’t give a damn about any poker-playing gamblers
It ain’t what they call rock and roll

And the Sultans
Yeah, the Sultans, they played poker
Poker

And then the man, he steps right up and bets half the pot

And says at last, just as the time bell rings

“All in, now it’s time to go home”
Then he scoops it fast sayin’ one more thing

“I am the Sultan
I am the Sultan of odds”

39

[Verse 1] I can think of younger days when poker was my life
Was everything a warrior could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
But I was never told about the sorrows

[Chorus] And, how can you mend a broken record?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the SW wind from blowing?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken record?
How can a record ever stand?
Please help me mend this broken record and let us win again

[Verse 2] I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty victories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow
No one said a word about the sorrow

[Chorus] And how can you mend a broken record?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the SW wind from blowin’?
What makes the world go round?
And how can you mend this broken record?
How can a record ever stand?
Please help me mend this broken record and let us win again