Popular lyrics turned into poker songs

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21

John Denver - Leaving on a Jet Plane - YouTube

All my chips are stacked, I’m ready to go.
I’m sitting here, looking for more.
I love to win your stack and say goodbye.
But the cards need dealin’, it’s early morn’
Doyle’s waiting, he’s blowin’ his horn
Already, I’m so snakebit I could cry,

So call me and smile for me
Tell me that you have a pair of 3’s
play them like you’ll never let them go
I’m a-bluffing on the river
I don’t know I’ll see my chips again
Oh, babe, I hate to fold

There’s so many times I’ve doubled down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, BJ don’t mean a thing (BJ don’t mean a thing)
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back, I’ll wear your wedding ring (I’ll wear your ring)

So bluff me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll play those 3’s
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
I’m shoving on the river
I don’t know I’ll see my chips again
Oh, no, babe, I have 2’s

Now time has come to leave our game
One more rhyme, before I go insane
So close your bank accounts, I’ll be on my way
Dream about the sums of cash
When we’ll fly off to obscure Lugash
About who won, we won’t have to say (we won’t have to say)

Kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
I’m a-done bluffin’ on the river
I know I’ll see her chips again

We’re leavin’ on a pink jet plane
(Leavin’ on a pink jet plane) Don’t know when we’ll be back again
(Don’t know when we’ll be back again) leavin’ on a pink jet plane
Don’t know, it’s such balderdash
Oh, babe, Lugash?

22

Had a home game down in Texas
Down where the blue bonnets grew
I had the kindest old mother
How happy we were just we two

Till one day the angels called her
A debt that we all have to pay
She called me close to her bedside
To me these words she did say

Son don’t start RP-ing and gambling
Promise you’ll always go straight
Ten years have passed since we parted
My promise I’ve broke I must say

I started RP-ing for pastime
Soon I was just like them all
I bet my pairs with my play-chips
Not thinking that I’d ever fall

One day I bet all my play-chips
Not a thing was left to be seen
All that I needed to break them
Was one card and that was a queen

The cards were dealt round the table
Each man took one from the draw
I drew the one that would beat them
I turned it and here’s what I saw

I saw my mother’s picture
And to me she seemed to say
Son you have broken your promise
So I tossed the cards away

I gave all my winnings to a newbie
I knew I was wrong from the start
I’ll never forget that promise
To my Mother the queen of my heart

23

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick to delete one post and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?
Say yes to one poker hand and let the other one ride
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes there’s one post with deep thoughts, not as funny
and others down here that are bright and sunny
And just when you think that’s the one needs deleting
Your counterpart deletes it and your left competing

And then you know you better make up your mind
And delete one and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Sometimes you really dig a post the moment you read it
And then you get distracted by another to delete it
You hear through the grapevine which might make you sigh
Saying, “Your post needs deleting, that is no lie”

Then you bet you’d better finally rewrite
And even in the dimming candlelight
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally rewrite?

24

Yeah, yeah, whoa-oh, yeah
What condition my position was in

I woke up with a hand under the gun, and I bet
In my mind I was envisioning a set
Found trips on the turn and bet the eight
I tore my mind on my jagged fate
I just dropped in to see what condition my position was in

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
What condition my discipline was in

I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole, and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin’ out as I was crawlin’ back in, yeah
It felt so right, I couldn’t fold, I saw so much, It broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
What condition my discipline was in

Someone painted “April fool” in big black letters on an ace of spades
I had my foot on the gas as I bet the river, chances fade
a smile out of the villan but I got no fear
He shows a straight called broadway while sipping beer
I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in
I said I just dropped in to see what condition my discipline was in

Yeah, yeah, whoa-oh, yeah NH

25

Summertime, and the betting is crazy
Fish are jumpin’ and the stacks are high
Oh, your daddy’s rich and his stack is dwindlin’
Hush little baby and listen to him sigh

26

Dealer would deal to the table all night
And the dealer dealt on.
Cards would glide 'cross the felt with the spin that he whirled
And the dealer dealt on.
But his brain was so loaded it nearly exploded
The players would shake with alarm.
He’d ne’er leave the table the whole night long
And the dealer dealt on.

27

Well, seven is a seven, and, eight is a eight
I need a new table, I would appreciate
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, or must I hesitate?

The sign on the table says, ‘Hold’em or Fold’em’
You’re sayin’ you want more time
You wanna see that tell when?
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, I said, must he hesitate?

Well, if on the river was a three, and, you had the ducks
The standings, you’d sink to the bottom, Lord
And never come up
Tell me how long…

Well, rocks in the ocean, said, fish in the sea
Know you bring the chips to me
Tell me how long do I have to wait
Can I call the clock now, Lord, must I hesitate?

28

I was born in a poker room at Belliagio
My mama played poker every moment you know
Big Papa would play whatever he had
Play a little 10-2
Good thing, those players were really bad

Villains, Sharks, not Durrrrr
We’d hear it from the players at Bellagio
They’d call us Villains, Sharks not Durrrrr
But every night all the players would come around
And lay their money down.

Picked up Doyle just south of Longworth
He said that is the place of his birth
I played AK, Doyle played 10-2
The villain rode with us to Vegas
Big Papa woulda shot him, but just bid him adieu.

29

Well, you can tell by the way I shuffle my chips
I’m a gambling man, a time for trips
Patient play and decent reads
I’ve picked the times when bluffs succeeds

And now it’s all right, that’s okay
You may play another way
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody bluffin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

Well, now I get low and I get high
And when I can’t get either, I really try
The upswings of champions on my resume
I’m a gamblin’ man and it is my day

You know, it’s all right, it’s okay
I’ll live to see another day
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody bustin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

I’m goin’ nowhere, somebody raise me
It doesn’t faze me, yeah
I’m goin’ nowhere
Somebody raise me, yeah
Stayin’ alive

Well, you can tell by the way I shuffle chips
I’m a gambling man, a time for trips
Limits high and table warm
I’ve been sittin’ here since I was born

And now it’s all right, it’s okay
You may play it the another way
We can try to understand
Super System effect on man

Whether you’re a caller or whether you’re a folder
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Feel the table breakin’ and everybody feltin’
And you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive

I’m goin’ nowhere, somebody raise me
It doesn’t faze me, yeah
I’m goin’ nowhere
Somebody raise me, yeah
I’m stayin’ alive

30

The dealers nothing special, in fact he’s a bit of a bore
Dealing at a table, you’ve probably seen him before
But he has a talent, a wonderful thing
'Cause I only get the ace and the king
I’m so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m playing
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the AK
For dealing it to me

Mother says I loved poker before I could walk
Mmm, she says I began to cheat long before I could talk
And I’ve often wondered, how did it all start?
I found out that no one else can capture the pot
Like me, with a winning hand can?
Well, whoever went south, I’m not a fan.

So I say
Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m betting
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

I’ve been so lucky, I’m the player with a boat
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a hand, what a chance

Thank you for the ace king, the cards I’m playing
Thanks for all the pots I’m winning
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without an ace or a king, what are we?
So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

So I say thank you for the ace king
For dealing it to me

31

Imagine there’s no poker

It’s easy to start to cry

No pot to bet at

Not one dry eye

Imagine all the people
Searching for a poker game today
Ah, ah, ah-ah

Imagine there’s no dealers
It isn’t hard to do

No one to blame or tip to

And no Negreanu, who?

Imagine all the posters
Living without deletes
Yoo-hoo, ooh-ooh

You may say I’m Excaliburns

But that’s not my real name
I hope someday you’ll join me
At the final table at a WSOP game

Imagine no buy ins

I wonder if you can
No need for checks or chips
Not easy to understand

Imagine all the bored people
Without the poker world
Yoo-hoo, ooh-ooh

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope poker will thrive on
And the RP world will live as one

32

In a little while from now
If I’m not raising any time soon
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby saloon
And toasting to the flop
Betting will not stop
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it’s like when you’re bluffing

Sliver of hope on the turn, at the river
Were players saying, My God, that’s tough
The brick card turned up
No chips of ours remaining
I may as well go on home
And I called 911 on my phone
I fold again, naturally

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, ready to play
Looking forward to rumble and not stumble
in a game I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without an ace, as I try to face
Another ace high flop

Leaving me to doubt
Talk about, poker god in his mercy
Oh, if he really does exist
Why did he desert me
Where’s my ace of spades?
All hope I had fades
I fold again, naturally.

It seems to me that
There are more hearts broken in the poker world
That can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do
What do we do

I fold again, naturally

Looking back over the hands
And whatever cards that lands
I remember it was sick, when the river was a brick
Never wishing to muck the hands
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn’t understand why the only hand
She had ever played had been overtaken
Leaving her to bluff
With a hand so badly beaten
Despite encouragement from me
No chips were ever won
And when she mucked that hand
I cried and cried all day
We lose again, naturally
We lose again, naturally