On and on and on it goes.
I play a 250k 6-seat SNG. I catch a set of 222s, no body shows any interest in the pot whatsoever, 4 ways. I finally put in a modestly small bet, and fold the table.
I get AK and flop AJQ or something, and I’m too afraid of someone having KT to bet, but I win the hand, only a small pot though. I’m so completely conditioned to getting beaten no matter what that I’m only here to throw in antes and fold now.
I get a straight T-A a bit later, and again no one shows the slightest bit of interest in the pot, so I win it but small.
I’m up about +600 chips, and get AKs again, in late position. I’m sick of playing 4-way hands, so when the player ahead of me raises to 150 or 200, I make it 575. I get 3 callers. The flop gives me a royal draw, QJx, and I stay in for the river, paying out 2600 for the privilege of missing my royal.
I donate the remaining 1000 chips on the next hand, shoving Q6. No problem calling for K5.
Flip over to a 3-seat 50k table. It’s just a joke to me, winning is the furthest throught from my mind. I’m here to randomly pick a hand to die on and shove, get called by better cards or something that crushes the board, and practice my screams.
Here it is: KQ vs AQ, JA3A7, I’m left with 20 chips. V raised, I shoved, they of course rightly called, and of course they hit trips on their top card because the dealer never wants it to seem even remotely close like I could have had maybe a smidge of a chance. It’s always: Very next card fills draw or otherwise improves V’s holding, then the rest of the board just pours it on.
I think I’m going to have to ask my dominatrix to explore the humliation kink I’ve apparently developed.
Now here’s where it gets funny. I double up the next 8 hands in a row, to go from 20 up to 1280. Go ahead and click the links. They’re very boring, ordinary hands where absolutely nothing interesting happens, because all combinatorials are equally likely when you look at the superset of all possible poker hands. But I do win with pocket 22 filling a flush, so that’s something.
Of course, I still can’t win the game.
Not with a second flush.
At this point I’m convinced that no matter what happens I will not lose another hand, which is of course false, so I call A7s all the way to the river despite 3 streets of postflop bets and having nothing.
Because who cares, right?
But then I get the same result again on another big shove. High Ace calls, High Ace hits for Trips.
Because probabilities are very likely that people other than me hit for trip Aces every time they play a big pot against me.