Indeed, the chat has it’s limitations. For instance, a few months ago while playing in a MTT, I had the enjoyable experience of landing on a table with an uncommonly warm and loquacious group. Remarks were constant and extended well beyond the courtesy of “nh” and “ty”.
(Ironically, it all started from a few dirogatory exchanges with a particularly obnoxious bingo player who shamelessly proclaimed his superior ability throughout the duration of his uncanny streak of sheer luck. As usual, his sand castle was abruptly swept into the sea. Those of us who had endured his rise and relished in his fall were somehow bonded through our mutual elation as we read his parting remarks “f u you bunch of donks!”)
With him gone, the tension eased but the competition certainly did not. But it was all cool, all fun, and all for fun. Good sportsmanship and commeraderie flowed like water.
Now, gestures of good sportsmanship, in their sincerest form, can be conveyed in disguise. When someone does this it means more than “nice hand” or “well played”. It’s an opportunity to say “I recognize your coolness as a dude and am therefore taking the liberty to break the bounds of formality and say something unflattering because I feel like we are now friends.” So “nice hand” becomes “nice hand, you farging icehole!” (if you find no humor in the term ‘farging icehole’ please watch the 1984 Hollywood motion picture “Johnny Dangerously” starring Michael Keaton) In response “ty” becomes “fy!” Extending this brand of casual, fun sportsmanship can require time between some people. It can also serve to break the ice immediately between others. It can be difficult to get an accurate feel for people online. Without the benefits of facial expression and voice inflection, the chat box doesn’t always serve well to foster fast friendships. Messages can be misinterpreted, especially when newly acquainted. I now understand that quite clearly!
Back to the friendly table during the MTT: Players came and went, as always, but the core group remained intact and so did the friendly atmosphere. A young lady joined the table who had obviously been acquainted with one or two of the other players. She was clearly a decent player and a friendly, outgoing, good natured person. As luck would have it, I called her or she called me and the result spelled my untimely dispatch from the MTT. I don’t remember exacly what I said but I do remember using the term “bee-atch”. My gesture of good sportsmanship was grossly misinterpretedand I was promptly accused of displaying poor sportsmanship. I immediately pointed out that my remark was well intended and good natured. (I know it was funny or I wouldn’t have said it.) I was hoping one of the other players would speak up in my defense but they were doing what I would have done in their shoes, sitting back, laughing, and enjoying the situation. Again, I was accused of being a poor sport. Just then, the table was broken up to consolidate the remaining players and everyone was merged onto the final table. So, there I was, an idiot, alone at an empty table. I was not at all cool with the notion of being thought of as a poor sport but I wasn’t getting anywhere with this person despite my opinion that she seemed really cool before I made the misgiven remark. There was only one thing left that I could do. I went to the final table and typed a sincere apology in the chat box. It was ignored.
Does this sound familiar Sassy Sarah? Please make no mistake here. This misunderstanding was entirely my fault. I clearly overstepped the bounds of mutual respect with my remark. It was not a big deal by any measure and wasn’t even confrontational from my perspective. What it was is a blatant misunderstanding and a crystal clear example of some of the many shortcomings of the chat box. Communications is a very complex thing to deal with especially if it’s intended as, or even mistaken as, dirogatory in nature. The raising of a single finger has sure opened a big can of worms for many misfortunate people.
On the lighter side:
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
My online poker New Year’s resolutions:
1.) I resolve to refrain from issuing dirogatory statements to bingo players and I will try not to rub their noses in it when they are eventually eliminated.
2.) I resolve to restrain myself from swearing out loud upon losing a big hand or upon getting knocked out of a tournament and I will never again get mad and throw my cordless mouse. (Not only does it startle the crap out of my wife, it really sucks when the battery pops out of your mouse and rolls underneath the refrigerator! This can easily result in a failure to participate for several critical hands. It’s similar to nodding off but you feel 1,000 times stupider!)
[I was supposed to resolve to spending less time playing online poker but I somehow managed to avoid modifying my behavior by selling the idea of modifying my behavior while behaving the same!]
i can certainly relate to the situation you described - the friendship etc… and i feel bad that your “bee-atch” comment was misunderstood… any woman , or man , for that matter , should be able to follow the conversation on a table and get a good enough idea of what is being said in good nature or not… as a woman who plays on here , i can certainly tell the difference between joking and what is truly rude or vulgar 
or wench works OK too