What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
My wife told me she had lost 2kg so I patted her on the bum and said “I found it for ya, Love”
So glad I insulated the dog kennel last year…
This is one of those jokes I try to read aloud to my husband but can’t even pronounce the punch-line because I’m laughing too hard.
A visiting priest shows up at the golf course and asks to join a regular foursome who is down a player. They happily welcome him and go on to the 1st tee. They decide to give the priest the honors and he hits a beautiful shot straight down the middle of the fairway. The regulars then take their turns and all is going well until the final player slices his tee shot off into the woods. “Damn it!” he swears.
The priest is a bit taken aback but quickly pulls himself together and says nothing. The scene repeats itself a few more times until the priest cannot contain himself any longer and admonishes the man. “If you keep this up, surely the lord will strike you down with lightening.” The man shrugs it off and play resumes as before.
On the final tee, the same golfer once again slices his tee shot off into a lake and yells “Damn it!”. Out of nowhere, clouds gather and thunder rumbles. The priest exclaims “I told you so.” just as a giant bolt of lightening comes down and strikes the priest dead.
In a huge booming voice that could be heard for miles, god yells “DAMN IT!”
that left a bruise me thinks
My mate just rang me tears
His wife has left him and taken his Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish
No woman, no sky!!
I’m pretty sure I was married to her once…
Homeschooling getting tough for some parents.