Joke of the week

Did you hear about the giant who threw up?

It’s all over town.

This one goes out to whoever invented the zero.

Thanks for nothing.

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As soon as you find out someone has 10,000 bees, marry them.

That’s when you know they’re a keeper.

I went on a job interview for a security guard. After spending 12 hours in the waiting room…

…they hired me.

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away their chairs.

Long ago, a young boy dreamed of being a blacksmith.

And after years and years of waiting, he finally got a job as the local smith’s apprentice.

But after his first day on the job, he came home with a bandage around his mouth.

“What happened, son?” said the young man’s mother.

The young man grabbed a piece of paper and wrote:

"Apparently there’s a thing you use to pick up a hot piece of metal and it’s called a 'tong not a tongue” !:stuck_out_tongue:

Want to know my password for everything?

Okay, it’s



I know it’s long, but it had to be at least six characters.


LOL Craig; we need a laugh emoticon for several of these Jokes.

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One time I was at a bar and got so drunk, I got up to go to the bathroom and won the dance contest!


If you remembered it, you weren’t drunk enough lol.

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Why are stars bad at staring contests?

Because they’re always blinking.

Every time I take my dog to the beach, he gets attacked by the ducks, nipping at him, only reason I think it’s happening is because he is pure bread.

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I liked my dentist so much, I gave him a little plaque.

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Where do they make average things?

The Satisfactory.


Feeling flush? Why not buy a Full House.


Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands.


Walked passed the fridge earlier and thought i heard an onion singing a BeeGees song. But when I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talkin…