Joke of the week

While golfing a senior gentleman accidently overturned his golf cart one afternoon.

A very attractive young female golfer who lives in a villa on the golf course heard the

noise and called out. Are you ok?

I’m ok thanks, he replied as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.

She said, come up to my villa, rest awhile, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.

The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open and revealed a nice figure.

That’s mighty nice of you he said, but I do not think my wife would like that.

Oh, come on now she insisted.

She was so pretty and very persuasive. He was weak. Well, ok he agreed.

After a couple of scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, I I feel a lot better now,

but I know my wife is going to be upset so I’d better go now.

Don’t be silly she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open.

Stay for awhile. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?

He replied, still under the cart, I suppose.

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For years I called the wife treasure.
Then 1 day she asked me " why do you call me treasure?"
So being the gentleman I am I told her !
“It is because my treasure people are always asking where I dug you up from!”
Do you think she divorced me cause of this? lol

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Little Johnny’s teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, “De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail.”

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pmsl lol fell off me stool

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What’s the difference between a really strong weightlifter and a really, really, really strong weightlifter?

Repetitions.

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sweat, stink I would think…

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Hahahahahaha, yea that too :joy:

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What do you call someone who can sew really fast?

Tailor Swift.

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What is the fastest animal on the planet?
Sterling Moth as he flies round your light bulb at 172mph(210km)
The hardest fish in the sea?
Al Ca-prawn

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Please stop putting flyers on my truck’s windshield. I am not interested in seeing a band called “ Parking Violations.“

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Hope I’m not repeating. Have told so many.

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Why do they serve snail at fancy restaurants?

Because their customers don’t like fast food.

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Teacher. Johnny, you are late to class again and I want to know why?

Johnny But Teacher, you said that it is never to late to learn.

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When I was a little boy, my Dad gave me money to go down to the electric company to pay the bill.
But, instead, I bought a raffle ticket for a chance to win a new truck.
I told my Dad when I got home and he beat my butt.
But the next morning there sat a brand new truck in the driveway.
We all hugged each other and cried, especially me because the truck was from the electric company to turn off our lights. I got my butt beat again.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Earthquakes in Australia.

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image

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Hahahahahaha, awesome :clap:t2::joy: