I CAN'T cook, but

A friend has asked me how to cook eggplant. My own cooking is abysmal, and my understanding of the terms cooks use is also limited (yes, I eat a lot of meals “out”). If you can help with idiot-proof directions, I’ll see that the instructions make the trip to my friend’s inbox. My friend might also enjoy other simple-to-prepare ideas. Thanks in advance. (I might even try some myself.)

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This recipe almost (almost) makes me look like I know how to cook.

Chicken and Rice Soup

Dice two boneless chicken breasts and place in slow cooker.

Saute in oil (diced and sliced) carrots, celery, and onions—whatever is on hand—until softened.

Place sautéed vegetables in slow cooker with chicken breasts and cover with 4-6 cups of chicken broth.

Add one or two diced or orange yellow peppers.

Allow to cook slowly all day.

An hour or so before serving, add 2-3 cups of cooked white or brown rice.

Prior to serving, add more broth if soup is too thick.

Serve with crackers or corn bread.


To heck with my friend, I’ll keep this one for myself. That’s simple enough even for me (Oh, all right, I’ll share it with her, too). Thanks.

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With regular 6-sided dice or those fancy D&D ones with like a kazillion sides? Should I remove the bra before handling the breasts?

What the heck is a Saute? How do you slice your oil? Whatever is on hand is a bit vague, does this include peanut M&Ms?

Now we have sautéed with extra Es and an accent! This might be too fancy for me. My cooker isn’t big enough to hold 4-6 cups, can I add a few crinkled up paper cups to save room?

Diced OR orange? I didn’t know “orange” was a cooking technique. How, exactly, does one orange a yellow pepper?

I don’t even own that many cups! If I eat them all, how do I drink my tea?

I doubt this will turn out well, but I shall give it a try. Thanks Jan!


what tastes great and actually very easy to make - Lasagna - you can use the pasta layers that dont need to be boiled - so many different kinds of cheese to use and mix - meat or veggie - spices - taste test the sauce with added spices until you like it - oven - then done - lol- enjoy - you really cant go wrong -


:rofl: :money_mouth_face:


Alan - this is one of my moms dishes - lots of flavouring


@Alan25main YouTube cooking channel is your best friend :+1:t2:


Now I have to go buy more eggplant to experiment. And eggs to not grow on plants


This makes me so hungry!

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candied ham:
Small ceramic casserole dish:
spread mustard on bottom of dish,
then sprinkle brown sugar on top of mustard,
then put sliced ham, small pieces on top,
then mustard, brown sugar ham etc for several layers,
then smother with evaporated milk (condensed) till covered,
bake at 350* till milk has evaporated, then enjoy.


Put the eggplant in a large saucepan along with two large rocks and enough water to cover everything. Bring to a simmer, do not allow it to boil, and cook for 3 hours.

At the end of 3 hours, put the eggplant in the compost, the rocks in the river and order pizza.

Bon Appetit


Never fry eggplant :eggplant: as it soaks up too much grease. Bake or grill the eggplant and brush with real butter not oil. ( graduate of Johnson & Wales Culinary Institute in Rhode Island). Air fryer is the recommended method in this day and age of technology breakthroughs.