CONTEST - Who would win? Number 4!


“If you can’t spot the fish after 30 minutes, it’s you.”

That was your clue for this month’s contest theme … and the contestants have been revealed!

If these four clueless characters were at the table together, who would win the pot and why? Share your thoughts below for a chance to win 100,000 chips! I’ll draw five random participants who will each receive a prize on Wednesday, April 18th. I’ll announce the winners later that day, and tally up the votes to see which character you think would beat out the rest!

Good luck and we hope you have as much fun participating as we do reading your answers! :fish:


Homer Simpson because he always finds his way out of difficult situations so surely he’d find a way to win at the Poker table!


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am a king and i’ll win!

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This is the toughest one yet. They are all completely clueless, and so am I right now as to which one to choose. No matter what my choice is, I won’t be able to defend it lol. So here’s what I did: I used a trick that I learned from @fizzymint :grin:
Using a Google spreadsheet and I drew the following player to win the pot: DORY :fish:
Whoever wins the pot among these 4 will win by pure luck, so it was only fair to select the winner by a pure luck draw :nerd_face:


Dopey would win.

Dory is a fish, and has to stay in water, making it impossible for it to interact with electronic devices.

Winnie is a bear, and can’t manipulate a mouse because he doesn’t have hands.

Homer is an idiot, and nothing ever goes right for him.

Dopey, on the other hand, has gotten a princess to kiss him more than once. He’s actually far smarter than he seems. He can easily out-play Homer.


This was the hardest one yet as they all suffer from short-term attention span and in poker you need to be very focused but i will pick Homer Simpson as you have to have some brains working in a nuclear power plant, raising a family and having the ability to do DIY work around the house, all of which takes patience and smarts. He is able to retain a great amount of knowledge about specific subjects and has great creativity in which he could use to bluff the other players. All of these factors is why i pick Homer.

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The same princess who kissed him was tricked many times by the same witch, agreed to eat a poisoned apple from a total stranger while on the run, and ended up in a coffin waiting for a miracle. You give Dopey too much credit for tricking her into kissing him. It’s not like she’s that difficult to trick :wink:


Quick question i think i know the answer to. Am i aloud to do these types of giveaways aswell, or can only staff members do this?
I would like to host some stuff like this aswell. (If you want you can take 50% rake of giveaways if its aloud)

As the first hand is dealt Winnie reaches into a jar of honey because it just tastes so good. The dealer issues a warning and provides napkins. he has to play with his other hand to keep the sticky off the cards. Homer decides to switch hands with his honey covered doughnuts to prevent any issues. The dealer sighs and asks the runners for wet naps. Dory just spins around and Dopey spins his head watching the fish swim in circles. ’

Dopey bets all in without looking at his cards, everyone folds. He collects 150 from blinds. “That worked” Homer said, and then he went all in. Everyone folded and he collected the same. Winnie held his cards with his now clean right hand as he dipped his finger in the jar before taking his turn going all in. Winnie (the only one who looked at his cards thus far) slid his chips to the center of the table with a licked-clean left hand. The dealer gave a stern speech and then swapped out the chips for new ones asking for wet towels to get these chips back in circulation.

everyone, still not even looking at their cards, folded and then Dory got her chance to jump out of the tank to go all in. At this point it should be seen as ironic that only a Dentist was willing to hold the cards up to the glass for Dory to see, but he was talking to the waitress about her bite. This was the first game of poker for all four of them, and they all got to eat, socialize, and win. And they all got to win in equal measures so there was no need for any of them to change their plans.

“The blinds are going up” the dealer said while guzzling a much needed glass of chardonnay. Dopey noted that the windows had curtains and the dealer quickly raised her hand for a much needed break. The tournament director stated that she only gets one break before the break, which was every 45 minutes. And there were about 39 left. Once the TD sat down the players all agreed to wait for her return. With a unanimous decision (and tips being so important) he agreed to let them relax until their special dealer returned.

She took her seat, this time placing a bottle of Chard beside her. Homer asked what does it mean when you say that the blinds are going up. The dealer calmly explained the one two level and so fourth while he just scratched his head looking confused. Eventually the dentist explained that it Really means they can take turns winning larger amounts every time the blinds go up. Everyone looked excited for the possibilities.

They all started playing faster hoping to have more hands each 5 minute round before the blinds went up, and then they played even faster once they did because that would give them more winning hands before things went up again. The good news was that the sticky drama ended simply because it delayed all of them from their turn to win.

Now they were playing a game of hot potato, wondering who would be the winner right before the blinds go up, since somehow that might give one a small lead over the other players. Technically Dory was in the lead because the dentist kept buying different people drinks and the chip ups went to her. She didn’t get why and nobody else noticed. They were all just having oodles of fun.

Christopher Robin came wandering in and saw what was happening. He looked at Winnie’s cards and talked about going all in TOO. Winnie looked at him funny. You have pocket aces, so when Dopey takes his turn and goes all in, you can call. Chris, whispering in his ear, explained the game while everyone waited as the dealer guzzled down the last of her bottle. [ dealing to cartoons isn’t as easy as you might think.]

Dopey, went all in, Winnie called, and then each of them in their own time decided to go all in. The dealer sat up and hoped that this would be the deciding hand and a winner would be established. They all revealed their cards before the flop was even seen. Winnie had the two red aces, Dory had the Q7 of clubs, homer had 2/3 unsuited, and Dopey had K8 unsuited. the flop gave them the Ace King, and Jack of Spades. At this point no one knew what that meant. no one but the dentist who is finally paying attention to the game. A ten could give the fish wrangler a straight and that would beat trip aces.

Then the ten of spades came down and Homer said that that was a bad card cause no one has any of those (so it can’t help). the dealer looked up the tournament rules for royal straight flushes. The verbiage stated that all players winning with a royal straight flush And going all in (regardless of chip stack) wins a bonus trip to Vegas with a seat in the big amateur tournament next August. The dealer gets nothing. Now with over a bottle of the best white wine the Knights of Columbus could muster, she began to calculate the odds that the queen of spades would drop.

It did!

They all thought that aces beat kings, queens, and tens and congratulated Winnie for winning it all. The dealer called the TD to have him explain what had happened and it took him over a half an hour just getting everyone to grasp the concept of a joint win. The dealer, a bit tipsy I might add, recommended the KC white wine to help and she wondered if anyone can explain to them that they had won.

Eventually they got the concept and were still miffed that they could win before the blinds finished going up. The TD quickly sent them home after shaking hands with their friends, Snow White, Christopher, the dentist and Bart. They all got their open ended ticket, invite to the Vegas open, and an engraved t-shirt that says " I got a royal straight flush in a poker tournament and all I got was this louse tee shirt"

none of them could wear it anyways.


BRAVO, kravpoker! A true tour de farce!

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My vote would be Dopey, he’s just putting on a act, deep down he’s a card shark. Don’t play against him, just ask his 6 closest friends.

Great question, and I love that you want to do this kind of thing as well! All promotions, including giveaways, need to be staff-run, but if you have any suggestions for contests we should run, I’m all ears. You can send me a PM at any time, or shoot a line to and we will happily give you credit if we use your idea. :slight_smile:

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@fizzymint pm send

Homer Simpson the Everyday man is My choice at the Table.

Winnie the Pooh - slow and steady will win in the end.

The first hour is fairly even and uneventful. Winnie has a full pot of honey, Dory’s tank is full of clean water, Dopey is still studying the rules and Homer is sucking beer. Finally Dopey decides he wants to play and picks up Qh2c. He thinks the Qh reminds him of Snow White and shoves all-in. Homer J looks down at 88 (he sees these as donuts wearing belts) so he calls. Both the others fold. The turn is another 8 and dopey is gone. Homer WooHoos and hi-fives Winnie, slopping beer and honey into Dorys tank.

Play continues but Homer now has a hand covered in honey… ooohhhhh hhoooonneeeyy!!! he drools as he licks his fingers. Winnie licks her paw to remove the splashes of beer and realises beer tastes better than honey. They start to hi-five each other every hand causing more and more beer and honey to get lost into the fish-tank.

This goes on for an hour or so until Dory is swimming through a thick goo. He has a hangover combined with a sugar rush. He is seriously oxygen depleted and can no longer see his cards. He fins all-in. Winnie, now halfway drunk and with the beer munchies, makes the call as she slides closer to the fishtank. Dory is about to get gobbled up in more ways than are strictly legal at a poker table. Dory is gone…

The floor manager calls a break.

Winnie spends the time at the rail taking to advice from her coaches ,Baloo & Yogi, and from her husband Teddy while Homer hits the bar. 5 minutes before the game is due to restart Homer feels the urge and heads off in search of a toilet. The 1 minute bell sounds so Winnie takes her seat to be followed seconds after by Homer.

Winnie fancies her chances now. Her team have been on the rail the whole time and have given her all the info she needs to dominate the 3 haired fool (as they choose to call him). The game starts and Homer opens up his game. This is a new Homer and he is playing like a machine. He is chugging a beer every deal and is totally in control of the game. Homer is rolling all over her and Winnie cant take it, so in a tilted rage, she throws her honeypot at Homer and hits him full smack on the head before shoving all-in. As a result of the sudden blow to the head, one of Homers 3 hairs springs upright and he suddenly starts to speak binary as he calls.With 1 hair is sticking up, aerial like, he chatters110110101010110110101011011011010111. The dealer runs the cards out and Homer wins. He scoops the chips inside his shirt and yells 100110011 kiss my shiny metal ass 100110110101. Homer is victorious.

Some say Flanders was coaching Homer J the whole time and he was bankrolled by Fat Tony.
Others say Homer was mugged in the toilet and Bender Bending Rodriguez played the last session wearing a bodysuit.
All we know is … well… sod all really lol


No! No No No No No! Bender cannot keep winning! Not every contest!!! No way! :rofl:

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Hahaahha. Gotta say it wasn’t easy to work him into this one.:rofl::rofl:

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By the way, Winnie the Pooh is male. His character is based on a female bear, so the real life Winnie the Pooh is female. But the cartoon version is male. Pooh Bear’s gender is so confusing :laughing:

is this a post or a novel?:slight_smile: