Respect for the Opinions of Others


#1

The beauty of the community forums is that people can share their thoughts, opinions, complaints, suggestions, feedback, and everyone can discuss and dispute freely. But are we always doing it respectfully?

Different people have different opinions, and it’s always ok to disagree and see things differently. But more importantly, we should respect these differences in opinion, especially when we decide to reply.

One way to reply to someone’s opinion that I personally find patronizing and a bit disrespectful, is telling that person “if you don’t like it, go do something else” in any of its forms.

If I come to the forums to say that I dislike bingo play for example, it’s always nice to hear others’ opinions on the subject. But to have someone come and tell me “if you don’t like all ins, don’t play NL, go find a limit game and play it” is such a negative attitude and doesn’t encourage a healthy conversation.

“You don’t like the site rules, go to another site”, “you don’t like offensive chat, mute it and play”, “you don’t like this, go do that”. All these are condescending remarks with no positive effect whatsoever.

Of course in some cases, when you think the person complaining is not aware of a certain option and you suggest it in a positive manner, this could be helpful. For example: “in case you didn’t know, it is possible to mute the chat using the mute button” which could help the person complaining if they didn’t know the option.

But telling people to go play different formats or go to other sites just because they dared to complain about something is, IMHO, unacceptable (unless of course you own the site or the formats, which is almost never the case lol).

I just wanted to give my opinion about this particular way of interaction, and if you don’t like it, go read another thread (lol imagine!)

What about others? Do you agree/disagree? Are there any other conversation aspects you don’t particularly like?


#2

Maya, the only sure way to get «respect» is to listen to Aretha Franklyn!
This is a concrete example of what I particularly dislike (since you insist on knowing :slight_smile: ): to answer to a serious thread with only a sarcastic, ironic or «funny» remark, without adding anything, either reasonable or banal, to the topic itself. This is a lack of respect, in my opinion.
Frequently, even if unintentional, those allegedly humorous comments appear to me just mean-spirited, scornful and patronising.
Now, if they are addressed to Maya (or as for that to me, too :grin:), we can be certain she won’t cry the whole night over them, because she knows how to counter if she feels offended, but if inexperienced people overcome their shyness and post something here for the first time, such responses will discourage them for ever, I am sure.
And this is a great pity. I’d love to see a greater variety of people posting here, not only the «usual suspects».

Maya, I agree with all your examples, for a very simple reason: those remarks, although frequent and apparently “logical”, don’t make much sense in a public Forum.


#3

Oh but I do cry the whole night sometimes… But I usually feel better in the morning lol.

And I spent oh-so many nights just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry, But now I hold my head up high :joy:


#4

Glad to read you are a “big girl” now.


#5

Says it all.


#6

:+1: Could very well be the case sometimes. I also think it’s nice to see more people involved in the forums!


#7

Replay can only go so far to insure that no one is offended


#8

County, thank you for supporting me and giving another concrete example of what I dislike. A single (I suppose ironic) sentence without any addition to the topic. LOL
Come on, we are not on Twitter ! You seem an eloquent man, you can express your opinion in a civilised manner in more than one or two sentences !
You have now the chance to retaliate. I know it will be difficult to find a fault with me, but I’m sure you’ll be able to think of something. And since I am not at all touchy, mods will not be required to intervene to protect my sensitivity.:slight_smile:


#9

There’s another example that came to my attention just now.

One should never tell others what subjects they can and cannot give their opinions about.

If I post in the “talk in song titles” thread, and then give my opinion in another poker related thread, the last thing I would want is for someone to come and tell me that I am “hardly in a position to address anyone else about posts that actually deal with how to play poker”.

Not only there is no relation between these facts, and posting in non poker related threads does not mean that the poster is clueless about poker, but also nobody should consider themselves in a position to decide what topics others can or cannot contribute to (unless of course they bought the forums and are changing the rules :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:)


#10

The simple fact is that off-topic, non-poker threads are permitted in the forums. They’re popular with both advanced and novice online poker players. There are a lot of people who are not interested in them, and they simply navigate around those threads to those in which they are interested. There are also a lot who are interested and those include people with great poker minds. 1Warlock, for example, has contributed to these topics and I would be hard-pressed to find someone who does not think he is among those on this site with one of the best poker-related minds. Those who contribute to off-topic threads can very well be in a position to address poker related topics as well. Obviously some will be able to do this better than others. It’s good to have multiple contributors or “many sets of eyes” to provide different angles and perspectives, even if some are less advanced than others. Multiple angles can be beneficial in multiple ways. If things become a tad out of sorts or overwhelming you can always “pick your poison” and look for objective material to back it up.


#11

You know, I wasn’t sold on having a publicist at first but you’re really doing good work. Thanks, I’ll be renewing your contract for another year.


#12

Maya, you are obviously a good poker player as you have 11 million chips accumulated in a couple of years, and poker is a game of aggression, but all the same your recent posts–I have not read everything you have ever posted and you may well have given people excellent ideas on how to win at poker–seem to have leaned strongly in the direction of telling people how to post in these forums rather than how to play poker.

Here is your profile on this site. What you want other players to know about you is a long list of things that you don’t like other players doing.

About Me

Turn-offs:

  • players who raise preflop in royal
  • players who bet on just the lo in omaha hi/lo
  • players who raise all the time
  • players who fold all the time
  • players who call every bet

Major turn-offs: bingo players and preflop all inners.

Balance is the key to a good game. Winning and losing are not important as long as the game is fun and played with nice people. Good luck everyone :slight_smile:

It is obviously true that winning and losing are not all that important, especially if you are playing for play chips, but you have won 11 million chips, so you evidently quite like winning both on the poker tables and on the discussion forums, and even in your profile!

Good luck on the tables.


#13

Thank you 97 year old alien living in a burrow near Treen City, Planet Venus, Solar system. :slight_smile:

And good luck to you too in total domination and elimination of all opponents. Accumulating 2M chips in less than 4 months isn’t bad at all either. :+1:

There are enough people already telling others how to play poker in these forums. Nothing wrong with discussing other topics unrelated to poker at all. Replay is a poker site, but it has other social aspects, and its forums are most definitely not made exclusively for poker discussions, as I’m sure you are well aware.

Best of luck at the tables, and in the forums :relaxed:


#14

All right, all right, I get it…I know. I’ll dial it down. LOL. Sometimes, it’s tough not to give credit (respect) where credit (respect) is due.


#15

LOL - its all good mate. I just can’t allow a compliment like that from another guy to go without a joke or I risk losing my man-card :slight_smile:

Honestly, I’m glad that you find some of what I say to be helpful. Over the past 8 months I’ve done more studying and coaching than playing (because of an injury). I’m finding teaching to be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding things I’ve done in a long time. Its helping me as much as it has any of the players I’ve worked with. Interacting with the players on this forum is something I look forward to every morning. Its one of the first things I do once work is under control every day and I peek in when I can throughout the day after that.


#16

Agree Maya. As there is so much road rage, could we term this “poker rage”?


#17

OK girls you requested my feedback. Here goes…I have to address County’s one line response “replay can only go so far to insure no one is offended”. This is true…some players take offense on the simplest remarks…typed words are one dimensional…u cant see the grin or the glare or the raised eyebrows. I do think there is one rule of behavior…be kind…if your being snarky follow it with a ) so players know you are just teasing…if u experience a players who is super sensitive…lay off with the snark. I know I talk to much at the tables…that’s me. I cant play poker silently. I truly enjoy other poker players and the back and forth. sometimes (rarely) players get annoyed with my chatter…my response to them is …“mute Me”…there have been those who have been offended by this remark…(she shrugs) ….I do always try to be polite…nh, ty, gg…
My personal gripe with players comments are the guys who are gonna “teach us low life stupid poker players how to play smarter”…comments like…you called with a 3 8 off suit???..or the percentages were in my favor why did u raise??? I HATE THAT STUFF…it is so condescending I could throw up…lol see I do have a flash point…ok im done see u all at the tables


#18

Maybe the site should open up one or more tables to the malcontents, perverts, misaligned, chemically induced, and topless dancers.


#19

Gee, some of us will fit right in. Happy holidays, people.


#20

Thank You Maya, for your original post. In my opinion we should always respect the opinions of others. We should all agree to disagree, for we learn from each other. We are all like snowflakes & different in every way and need to learn from each other. Happy Holliday’s to all, I pray everyone has a Very Blessed Christmas