hahaha great pictures
the purposes of origami are to fold
…and never play poker at a table of origami experts because they are always folding…
Two elderly couples had met at home for lunch, and after the meal the ladies retired to the kitchen, leaving the men to chat.
You know, said the first man, we went for a meal at a new restaurant yesterday and I can heartedly recommend it. Oh, what was it’s name, said the second man. After thinking for a while, the first man said “what do you call that flower you give to a woman you love, it is red and has lots of prickly thorns”. “You mean a rose” replied the second man.
The first man turned towards the kitchen and shouted “Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Hi Maya, you probably know this old ‘chestnut’.
THE GAMBLERS PRAYER
"Please God, let me break even—I could certainly use the money…
yes! Nice one.
I actually caught myself laughing out loud at this…very clever
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The stunned bartender says nothing, pours the gorilla a beer and says that’ll be $10.
After the still stunned bartender watches the gorilla sip his beer for a while he states “you know we don’t get much of your kind in here” to which the gorilla replies… “I can see why at $10 a beer”.
My boss told me ‘Have a good day’ - so I went home.
Called the boss this morning, told him I was calling in “well”.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
I feel to good to come to work today.
I couldn’t call in sick anymore, so I just called in dead.
Why don’t cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny.
My boss said to me “if you don’t come to work on Monday don’t bother on Tuesday either”.
He seemed pretty angry when I said “Wow, Thanks, I’ll see you on Wednesday then”
Did Y’all Hear What Happened To Dairy Queen?
She Got Pregnant … Burger King Forgot To Cover His Whopper!
In ancient times there was a triangular lake that was surrounded by 3 kingdoms. This lake was rich in natural resources, and all 3 kingdoms claimed it as their own.
The kingdom occupying the shortest shore was rich and powerful. The second longest shore was dominated by a slightly lesser kingdom, and the longest shoreline was controlled by a poor kingdom.
Tensions mounted until the 3 kingdoms went to war over the triangular lake. The most powerful kingdom fielded 100 knights in gleaming plate armor, each accompanied by his squire. The second kingdom could only muster 50 knights in scale mail, and only a few dozen squires. The last kingdom sent their only warrior, an old man well past his prime, and his faithful squire.
The night before the battle, the forces of the more powerful kingdoms partied all night, consuming vast quantities of wine and beer.
The old knight didn’t drink, so he had his squire throw a rope over a branch of a nearby tree. He then tied a noose and used it to suspend a big cast iron cookpot full of stew high above a fire. Once cooked, the knight ate silently and went to bed.
The next day, the knights who drank were too hung over to fight, and the old knight was too tired, so they all decided to send their squires to fight it out. The battle raged all day and well into the night, and in the end, the old knight’s squire was the last man standing.
Thus it was confirmed: the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
I dub thee King of all Nerds for this one. Spoofing Pythagoras? Just wow.
Very punny. May a trolley car grow out of your navel for that.
Three brothers decided to start a cattle ranch. They bought the land and the steers but hadn’t decided on a name for their venture so they went to their father and asked him, “What should we call the ranch?”
The father immediately responded, “Focus.”
The boys loved the name but wondered how their father had arrived at the name so quickly and asked him.
He answered, “It’s obvious. It’s where the Sons Raise Meat.”
Give it a minute.
The Sons Raise Meat = The Sun’s Rays Meet ?
If not, I’m not sure I got it.
Bingo! ‘Where the Sun’s Rays Meet’ is it! It’s a triple pun.